So Over this Period Business - Bring on Menopause

I woke up at like 3 am...again. But last night I was up for about 3 hours. WTH? And then this morning, I realized why. My period. She is visiting again. Only this time, bitch is out with a vengeance. What did I ever do to her? And why do I assume she is a girl? 

Image courtesy of Curtis & Candace: The Truth About PMS.

I remember hearing a line from a movie once "I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die" (In the Company of Men).

Try 10 days pal. Seriously. T-E-N days. 

My period was always light and airy - up until about a year ago. I never understood why girls were so mean. Now I do. 

I mean what the hell am I supposed to do with 10 days of menstruation? That's not the agreement. When I was twelve I agreed to 5 light days and maybe one not-so-light-day. But like swimming pool compatible. I never missed a beach day in my life due to a little flow.

I did not sign up for this, so I blame menopause, or what will someday soon be menopause. 

Alright, alright, I'm about 10 years or so away from menopause, but I swear, he has something to do with this whole situation. And yes, if your name is men-o-pause I am guessing you are a dude. Wait isn't that a Klymaxx song? How ironic.

So here I stand, in my kitchen, working and writing, tired as all hell and thinking about what the next 33% of my month is going to look like; not pretty and super beyatchedy. Hey ladies in your teens and twenties, heck even you thirtysomethings, enjoy your period now, because she is going to get real nasty down the road and there is nothing you can do to stop him...well, unless you want to have a baby. 

Gasp. At least I'm not pregnant. See I can still find the silver panty liner in any situation.

PS - Don't ever, ever google "images for menstruation". Like EVER!



Image courtesy of Curtis & Candace: The Truth About PMS.